Holiday food

When you read the title of this post, I'm sure you already know what I am talking about. It's what we all think about when we read or hear the words 'holiday food.' Of course I'm speaking of chocolate bunny rabbits.

I must confess that I look forward to no other holiday food item with as much anticipation as chocolate bunny rabbits. I do not pretend to understand this, and in fact it confuses me a little, since I know me so well. I like chocolate, but tend more towards the dark chocolate - about 60% cocao is perfect. I don't go for regular milk chocolate like a plain hersey bar much. Granted, I will not turn one down, but I don't recall the last time I purchased a good ol' American classic Hersey bar. So the fact that I like chocolate bunny rabbits - which is the plainest milk chocolate of all - so much is somewhat strange.

I also feel compelled to call them chocolate bunny rabbits. Bunny rabbits. Welcome to the department of redundancy department. This usually kills me. Like when someone talks about their computer NIC card (for non-nerds: NIC = network interface card). Or other similar examples of which there are too many to count and they all escape my memory right now. I guess I feel too manly to call them chocolate bunnies. But chocolate rabbit sounds a little too blunt. Or like someone has dipped a live animal in rich, creamy, molten chocolate. Chocolate bunny rabbit is where I've subconsciously landed. And I think I'm fine with that.

Now on to the type. There are two main types of chocolate bunny rabbits. Hollow and solid. Hollow is absolutely required. Solid feels like you've gotten it too good. "Here's more chocolate than you've ever seen in one place. Like 6 or 10 hersey bars all melted together into the general form of a mostly two dimensional animal form. Try to work on taking a bite, but don't break your teeth." This is no good. Hollow is the only way to go. The hollow chocolate bunny rabbit feels balanced somehow. Not too dense, but enough heft to know you have something. Cartoonishly proportionate, but proportionate just the same. Some places it's just a little thin where it didn't stick to the mold as thickly as it should have. This is made up for on the places where it's a little thicker than standard. It helps make each one a little adventure - where will this bite break off? Will it be a small bite or a large piece that must be crammed in?

Size? No question - I will get the largest one they have. Within reason. I don't go for the life size freaks of marketing. For example, I am currently working on one titled "Grandbunny Heffelflopper." A wonderful 20 oz. specimen that is going on day 3 of my attack. A worthy opponent that looks like it will last only one more sitting. Anything with a title of "Grand-something" will usually do nicely.

Then there is the question of the extras. The eyes? Hard sugar candy buttons? I eat them. You can discard if you like and I think that's ok. I kinda like the crunchy texture, but they *must* be eaten with a bite of chocolate. Otherwise it's just a sweet piece of chalk.
Some have bow-ties or some other sort of ribbon adornment. This is a complete waste of time. Take my word for it, they are not edible. But they should be.

So there you have it. My take on the world's best holiday food: the chocolate bunny rabbit. They are in stores now - so hurry out and get yourself one. Maybe two, so you have a backup.

And to Mr. Grandbunny Heffelflopper: I salute you, worthy opponent. You fought the battle well even when you lost your ears. I already look forward to seeing you next year.